Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
