I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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