and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
