she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
