Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
