It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
