Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
