I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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