I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
