Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't deserve a penis
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
