Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
