Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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