Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
