Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
