where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
