I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
