Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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