So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
