Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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