I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
