Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
