We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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