Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
