she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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