I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize