Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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