HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
