I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He better not be in your backpack
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
