Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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