I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
