I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have aggressive nipples.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
