The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
