I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
