i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
