Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
