Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
