It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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