Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
