he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
