And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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