how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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