It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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