She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
