Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
