Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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