Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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