Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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