I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
