Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think my vagina is haunted
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
