Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize