look no pants
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
