why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
