Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
More tranny stories later!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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