Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
