i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
