Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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