therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize