If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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