This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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