Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
