No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
