Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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