You're my little dorito
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
