It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
