Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
