Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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