She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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