i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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